Are You Unknowingly Dating a Married Man?

A married man from Long Island, NY recently made headlines when he was arrested for impersonating a U.S. marshal to get dates. Married for 17 years with 2 teenaged children, this man used an internet chat room called Long Island Over 40, to lure at least 11 women into relationships under the pretense of being a single man. One woman even became pregnant with his child. Had he not been impersonating a U.S. marshall, his dating duplicity might have never been exposed.

Dating Deception is Common

Unfortunately, dating deception is all too common. Married men frequently masquerade as single men. Although there are websites specifically for married men who want to cheat, many cheating husbands troll chat rooms and online dating sites in search of single women on whom to prey. It’s not just over the Internet; this dating deception occurs in offline locations as well. A surprising number of the men you meet at clubs, bars, parties and in other social settings, are married -- not single, as they claim to be. If you’re a single woman looking for a committed relationship, the last thing you want is to find out is that you’re dating a married man who’s cheating on his wife.

Signs You’re Dating a Married Man

With so much deception going on, single women need all the help they can when it comes to identifying a married man who wants to play games. The 6 telltale signs below are taken from a tip sheet I complied entitled “15 Signs You Might Be Dating a Married Man.” It provides guidelines on how to tell the fake bachelors from the genuinely single men.

• He only gives you his cell phone number so you can’t contact him at home.
• He calls you at odd times – in the early morning or in the wee hours of the night.
• He’s unavailable on weekends, holidays, or other times when his family might be around.
• He’s overly secretive about his family and friends.
• He refuses to give you his home address or tell you exactly where he lives.
• When he opens his wallet to pay the check, you catch sight of a family portrait with wife and kids.

By identifying and avoiding married men the dating pool, you can avoid unnecessary headaches and heartaches. For a FREE copy of the tip sheet with all 15 signs, send an e-mail to InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with “married man-ez” in the subject line.

About Ruth Houston:

Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of “Is He Cheating on You?-829 Telltale Signs” which lists practically every known sign of infidelity. For more information about the book, cheating men or signs of infidelity, or for a list of FREE infidelity tip sheets available, visit http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ruth_Houston

Turning a Date into a Mate Part I: How to Find a Date and Keep the Conversation

Relationship...for some that word stirs up fears of commitment and for others it conjures up the idea of ever lasting love. For many on the dating scene 'ever lasting love' is their ultimate goal but how do you find someone to go on a date with and once you do how do you go from date to relationship?

While the person you're dating may be looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, they may not be looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right now, meaning pull in the reins and go a little slower. But let's start at the beginning instead of jumping straight to the finish line. Let's get back to the basics.

To get back to basics, let's start with a history lesson. Dating can be a scene right out of your High School memory banks. Many are haunted by memories of their first date and the nervous tension that resulted from the anticipation of it: "Did I pick the correct outfit?" "Will I smell good to them?" "Is my breath okay?" "What will I say during those awkward moments of silence?"

Things haven't changed that much since High School. Often the same questions come to mind and you will still get that same sense of nervous anticipation before embarking on a first date with someone.

Dating can be a very intimidating time to even the most experienced and savvy dater. Recently I asked both men and women who dated frequently (3-4 times a week on average) if they still got first date jitters. The same answer echoed through 93% and that was a resounding, "Yes!"

Amazingly enough, even those people who seemed confident and poised; those who seemed to have an endless amount of dating potential as well as a line of prospective suitors, still got first date jitters. So for those singles that still have troubling memories of their past dating experiences, how do you jump into the dating pool and begin to swim again?

Unlike swimming in a pool filled with water, don't dive into the deep end of the dating pool first even if you remember how to swim. There may be sharks lurking waiting to attack. It's always best if you start in the shallow end of the pool first. Start out small by meeting people in groups at functions until you feel comfortable enough to seek out a dating partner. After that hurdle is crossed then by all means dive right in to the dating pool!

Where can you find a dating pool in your area? Because many people have a select group of friends, they tend to see the same people at all of the functions, B-B-Q's, parties and other events. Same faces with the same stories that become all too familiar. So where do you meet compatible and available singles? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Find charity events in your area and attend them. 2. Look in your local paper for events that singles would go to. Social functions, chess café's, ice cream socials, etc. 3. Find sporting clubs (the kind of clubs that actually have participation such as water or snow skiing trips.) 4. Take a specialty courses at a junior college or community center. 5. Go to your local coffee café and sit on the comfortable chairs that are in the round to make conversation more likely. 6. Your local grocery store can be a buffet of single people. There are specific times and ways to approach people that I talk about that in my book, but don't have the space here. Use your best judgment. 7. Check out reputable online dating services (be careful, more later).

If you're nervous, as most of us are, prepare for your first encounter just as you would when vying for a promotion at work. Practice ahead of time! Make up a little 3x5 flash card set with subjects you are comfortable talking about or questions that are conversation initiators (forget about the weather, that's a dried up subject).

Here are a few you can use that are sure to spark some interest:

1. Read or watch the news ahead of time and discuss current events. Stick to positive uplifting ones and stay away from politics and religion. Example: Recently in the news there was a story about an autistic boy whose lifetime dream was to play basketball. To be close to the sport he did all the dirty jobs for both the boys and girls teams at his school. The last game of the season he was allowed on the court and scored a slam dunk. 2. Talk about your family (positively). Example: I have two brothers and one sister. Growing up we... 3. Liven up the conversation with topics of any recent travels. Example: Recently I traveled to Washington State to see the Fish Market in Seattle. Talk about your experiences there and what you saw. 4. Ask about their career and how they happened upon it. Example: What do you do for a living? What made you decide on that career path? Did you go to school for your career choice? 5. Ask about their family (if they shy away, you need to also). Example: Do you have brothers or sisters? Does your family live close?

These are just a few topics. If you can't think of any yourself pour over the Internet for resources on topics of conversation. While I gave you a few suggestions above, there are many more I am sure you can come up with. Because online dating has become the norm for meeting people I want to outline a few tips for using online dating services.

When you join an online dating service you have much the same feeling of anticipation and excitement as you do when you are about to go on a blind date. The prospect of having people approve of you and possibly accept you as someone they want to have around them is exhilarating.

But how do you create a powerful and compelling online dating profile? You've heard that honesty is the best policy...It is. Be honest. The person you're trying to attract will eventually agree to meet you if you have written an eye catching profile. Eventually the "real" you will pop out. You don't want to get dumped once your feelings are involved.

Statistics show that people can only keep up a façade of pretending to be something other than they are for approximately 3-6 months (there have been cases of years but that's not the norm). If you want to find Mr. / Mrs. Right, adhere to the honesty policy and represent yourself exactly as you are and not want you want others to perceive you.

Be clever and funny in your profile but be sincere. (Think of the online dating profile as if you were actually speaking to them in person for the first time.) If you're funny, then show it in your writing. Don't tell someone how funny you are, e.g. "I'm funny and have a great sense of humor." That won't make them a believer.

Here is an example of something funny and clever. Football fans will enjoy this one. (This is not for your profile but used as an example of funny lines I have used when talking to an audience.):

"If your partner is more concerned about that 3rd and 1 on television, than the 4th and 23 in your own living room, then you might be another statistic on the playing field of love. Tell them to not try for a 58 yard field goal, go for six instead."

Do you see what I'm writing about? Word pictures are very powerful tools that help draw the reader in and help to reveal who you are and what you're about.

Another important aspect of your online dating profile is pictures. Show them a picture of you. A picture speaks volumes about who you are. If you say you are sporty but have a picture of you sitting on a couch, what does that say? Use a picture of you on a bike, in a race, waterskiing, etc. Don't use a High School picture if you are in your 20's or older. Use a recent picture. They will find out what you look like when they meet you. Why draw someone in and then have them ditch you if you don't look the same?

The eyes reveal a lot in a picture. If they sparkle with what's called a "catch light," the viewer will be more drawn to you. (A catch light is the little light that shows up on the pupil). If your eyes look suave, the viewer will probably click you away.

Make sure to do a spelling and grammar check before you post to an online dating site. Words that are spelt incorrectly and bad punctuation can tune a lot of people out and then they will click you off.

A few last words of advice: Forget about negativity in your profile and don't talk about ex-relationships. That will give the reader a sense that you are a serial dater and perhaps a heartbreaker.

Avoid phrases like: "I don't play games."; "I love long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and romantic nights by the fire." You can show them that when you meet them.

Every person I have surveyed in the past has said that lines such as the above are red flags and a sign that he/she is a "player."

Online dating can be fun, exciting and successful, but be safe and enjoy the process. When you finally connect with someone on an online dating site, agree to meet at a coffee shop during the day. Never go off in their car no matter how safe they seem, always take yours.

About the Author

Jaci Rae's grit and determination brought her from a poor childhood to a successful singer and performer who tours around the world. She is an Barnes and Noble and Amazon #1 Best seller of Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown At A Time. http://www.jacirae.com or http://www.winningromance.com About.com Dating Guide said this http://dating.about.com/od/datingadvice/ss/RelateBooks_6.htm

How to Get the Date without Having to Chase the Guy

The woman who pursues a man does so because she’s afraid to share control of the courtship with him. A quality man wants a woman who trusts her instincts enough to recognize him and to allow him to court her. Courting you is his share of the control, and responding is yours. A man of quality will enjoy courting a woman of quality.

You may find that if you chase after a man, you’ll chase him away. If you’re a successful career woman, or a parent who’s worked hard to provide for her children, you know what it means to accomplish your goals. You know what you want and you do what it takes to make it happen. In the realm of love and relationships, sometimes doing what it takes means doing nothing, because there’s now another person involved. Bonding with Mr. Right isn’t a straight-line progression from A to B to C. Instead, it’s a give-and-take, back-and-forth structure where you become closer, not just from the actions you take, but also because of what you don’t do (i.e., you don’t act on your fears, pursue him too aggressively, or violate his boundaries by trying to fix or control him).

Your taking control of the entire courtship can drive Mr. Right away, and it can bring Mr. Wrong closer to you. Your trying to control the courtship can mean that you can’t handle rejection well, and you’ll lose validation as a result. Controlling the pace is different than controlling everything about the courtship. In controlling the pace, you set boundaries and observe your emotions, so you don’t race ahead of yourself. Controlling the entire courtship means you call him at those times when it would be more appropriate for him to call you. Controlling the courtship and not sharing that control means you’re trying to play both your role and his at the same time, and that will free (and motivate) him to pursue someone else.

Give him a chance to court you. Self-reliant women are used to taking action and getting results, but such an approach can backfire when it comes to love. For instance, getting a college degree is within your control. You research schools, apply for admission and perhaps financial aid. You show up for class, study hard and repeat the process until you graduate. When it comes to dating, half the control belongs to your suitor. You can control only your part of the courtship process – but remember, you control 100% of your part.

Traditional dating rituals, such as allowing the man to initiate the invitations, allow you to control the pace. Just because you allow him to court you, that doesn’t mean you give up any power or control in the process. On the contrary, the first empowering act of control you exhibit is that of allowing him to court you. If you feel compelled to pursue him, ask yourself why. Current culture dictates that women are on equal footing when it comes to calling; but to make it work, you’ve got to be calling for the right reasons.

If you call a man because you’re unwilling to allow him to court you, it could be that you feel unworthy of his attention. You may also believe that he may not want to see you unless you do all the work. Or you may feel some vague uneasiness at having to wait for his invitation, which is a sign that you’re on the brink of using this man for a level of emotional fulfillment that you should be providing for yourself.

Another cause of vague uneasiness would be that you’re feeling and fighting the urge to rush the relationship instead of enjoying each moment as it comes. If you feel uneasy at having to wait for him to contact you, question why.

Are you really just concerned that if he doesn’t call, you won’t have any alternate plans? Be sure you have enough activities and interests to keep you occupied so you don’t reach out to a potential Mr. Right to fill any emotional neediness you’re experiencing. If you want to call him because you’re used to being in charge and in control of your life, then remind yourself that you are in control when you give him the opportunity to call you. If you like this man enough to be excited at the idea of dating him, then you’ll have to trust him enough to court you.

Dating Expert and Speaker Marcia Augustine is the author of Emotional Wavelengths: How to Tune In Marriage to Mr. Right. Set for a Fall 2006 release, you can order your copy now from her website at a special prepublication discounted price.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marcia_Augustine

Single Parents - Finding Dates Made Easy

Being a single parent, finding a date can seem like a difficult feat, if not impossible, but it does not have to be that way. As the number of single parents continues to grow, communities are finding more practical ways for local single parents to find dates. The following paragraphs will briefly discuss some dating options available, in order to make finding a date easier for single parents everywhere.

One option to make finding dates easier for single parents is the single parent can place a personal ad seeking dates in several different local paper publications. It usually is not very costly to place a personal ad in the newspaper, and it is sometimes free for female singles seeking dates. As with anything that seems good, there are disadvantages that come with placing a personal ad. Sometimes people will lie when placing personal ads, and they may not really be the type of person they portray themselves to be in the personal ad, and perhaps they may be someone a single parent would rather not have around their children. It is, also, always very important to remember this when dating someone who may respond to your personal ad. When meeting someone who answers your personal ad, you should always agree to meet in a public place. It is never a good idea to invite a stranger to pick you up at your home.

There is another option single parents have to help them find dates is online dating services available on the world wide web. There are many online dating services available in most areas, and in most instances, there is little or no membership fee for female date seekers to place an online ad, or to submit her profile for public view ( at www.21onlinedating.com it's for free ). Online dating allows the single parent to view photographs of people, and view their profiles, before deciding to correspond. As with placing a personal ad in the newspaper, online date has it's disadvantages, as well. Dating prospects can easily lie to their in their ads and profiles, so it is a good idea to always beware. Just like with placing a personal ad in the newspaper, the single parent should get to know a person in public before inviting them back to their home, or expose them to their children. Meeting in a well lit, public place is always the best decision, especially for the first few dates.

Lastly, finding singles groups to find suitable companionship is a great way for single parents to find dates easier. Single parents can find lists of these groups in the newspaper, or even listed at community centers, churches, and even some libraries and schools. These lists will often includes groups like "Single Parent Cooking Group" and "Single Parent Dance Class". These groups are specifically for single parents to intermingle, and sometimes these activities even encourage participation from the children.

http://www.21onlinedating.com

Living Single And Loving It

Each day we are bombarded by ads and tips for navigating the world of online dating. If we didn't know better we might believe that in order to be complete in our life we have to have a mate. Well if that were true, what about all the folks out there living single and apparently loving it?

In 1970 only 7.8% of Americans aged 30-34 had never married. By 2003 that number had risen to 27.9%. The reasons are many, the rise in the divorce rate, the feminist movement and the intolerance by many singles to be married just for the sake of having a partner. Add to that the fact that as people live longer there is a greater chance they will be living that way as a widow or widower.

The plus side is that it is easier than ever to be living single. Though it once may have been the norm to have a two parent household with the rise in the divorce rate many parents are doing the job alone or sharing it with their ex-spouse. Having a child as single woman or adopting as a single parent have found an acceptance today that they might not have enjoyed twenty or so years ago.

Despite what you may have been led to believe single people are living full and happy lives and are not necessarily looking to change their single status. That is not to say they shun relationships, but instead they feel free to not settle for anything less than Mr. or Ms. Right. If the perfect person comes along it is a blessing but if it never happens they certainly don't feel as though they have been cursed.

Single woman today do not depend on a partner for financial security. She has her own investments, buys her own home and has a family if she should desire. In fact single women are the second largest group of home buyers nationally. Clearly a man does not define who she is for she is perfectly capable of defining herself. As for the single men out there, a woman does not equal a complete life. They are able to create that for themselves.

Many singles feel that marriage is a full time job and for now they have other goals they want to achieve. They have career and education goals that take priority and if a relationship does not interfere with these goals that is fine, but evidently a relationship may be a little lower on the list of priorities.

Let's not discount the population of single adults left in the wake of rising divorce rates. Living single has allowed the opportunity to reconnect with them self, after being in an unsuccessful relationship. Living single can help to define what the appealing parts of a relationship are and what they would not tolerate again.

Whereas it is true that for some people singleness is thrust upon them through the death of a spouse or a partner, for a growing number of others it is a conscious choice. Though many admit it was not their first choice they have come to accept life on life's terms and pursue nothing less than a full and happy life.

Researchers may have found that married people are happier than single people and even live longer. Many traditionalists may feel that singles are making a mistake by shunning the accepted view of how men and women should conduct their lives, meaning together, for the benefit of society. Despite these beliefs it appears that the marriage rate is slowing down and today's singles are finding that the traditional married role will not necessarily guarantee happiness.

Living single today includes carving out a life that is uniquely your own. By the looks of it, whether they remain single in the short term or for the long haul, single men and women are finding ways to love it.

About the Author

Maureen Staiano is a Life Coach specializing in working with women and the unique and challenging transitions we face in our lives. Please visit Maureen at: http://www.achieveyourdreamcoaching.com/

Dating Advice for Single Moms

If you are a single mom and you are dating or you are thinking of entering the dating scene then you should know that this period can be very confusing for both you and your kids. The new change to single parent dating is going to require a lot of adjustment and compromise. For all those young single mothers, single working mothers and even the single moms that stay at home, we have a few single parent dating tips made especially for the single mothers dating and single moms seeking dating.

Single parent dating should be slow and at your pace! Make sure that you are ready. Successful single parent dating depends on you. Don't be pressured by others to get back into the dating scene, wait till you feel comfortable and you feel ready.

Try not to bring different men to meet your children. As much as we all understand that single moms out there are will be meeting different men everyday, your children do not need to meet each and every one of them. Leave the introductions to the special few!

We know that life as a single parent can be difficult and you are always looking for a helping hand, but your new dating partner does not need to be that helping hand. Single moms; avoid the temptation to make your new dating guy a parenting helper straight away. Don't have him take on parenting roles too soon into the relationship. This could cause tension with the kids as well as scare him away as he might not be ready for that responsibility. Remember single parent dating is a slow and steady process!

Always have your priorities in order. As a single mom you know how important it is for you to be at your son's soccer match or your daughter's piano recital, these are your parental priorities. Avoid putting them second to your dating life. You might get caught up in the excitement of single parent dating but remember the children come first and your new guy must be able to handle this decision.

When you do finally go for that long awaited date, enjoy yourself! For most first timers in the single parent dating scene they may often experience feelings of guilt and act out these guilty feelings by talking about their children during the date! Don't sabotage the relationship before it has even started. He is having dinner with you not with all your single parent dating problems so try to keep the kids talk short and sweet! http://www.singleparentlove.com

About the Author

Kay Mubaiwa works for http://www.cupidmedia.com a company that runs succesful online dating sites including http://www.singleparentlove.com, a dating and personals servce for single parents looking for love.

Playdates And Blind Dates For Single Mom

Interesting post at the Post: On Balance - Juggling Work and Family by Leslie Morgan Steiner, guest blogger has a bunch to say about jumping back into dating.

In hindsight, I feel lucky to be free of him. But I wasn't exactly prepared to be the 28-year-old single working mom of our seven-month-old baby. As a researcher at Time Inc., then a freelance editor and writer in New York City, I'd managed to support myself for a decade. Now, I had to turn to family and friends for help. I moved back to California for more support.

At first, the thought of dating again was unthinkable. It was tricky enough balancing hours of peek-a-boo and dirty diapers with editing and deadlines. Besides, trying to get over my ex had shut out the possibility of romance. Not to mention how exhausted I was.

When I hit 30, however, everything changed. I stopped nursing. I was ready to get out of domestic overdrive. This is how my Match.com profile began:

"Are you an honest, big-hearted man with no addictions, except coffee?"

Read the full article here

Christian Dating

There are many people who consider Christianity a crucial pre requisite for a lifetime partnership with another person.

As there is considerable demand for Christian minded people to find a partner, there has been an increase in the number of Christian dating sites that have emerged on the Internet.

There are generally strict guidelines before people can become members of Christian dating sites and for this reason the sites tend to have a lower membership count than many of the general dating sites. The upside of this however is the fact that the clientele is more targeted so you can be assured that you will only be looking in a market where you are sure that the people online will have the background that you are interested in.

There are free and paid Christian dating sites with the free sites earning their income from the advertising that is displayed on the site.

These sites allow you to post a picture of yourself and your profile giving other members the chance to see what your interests are.

When a suitable candidate is found the members can make contact with one another and determine if they would like to interact further after corresponding online.

This offers a safe environment and also makes it a lot easier for those people who are too shy to make contact with others in offline dating situations, such as parties, clubs and so on.

Many Christian dating sites also arrange events where people can meet one another in a safe environment, such as dances, dinners and in some instances holidays or weekend travel.

Christian dating sites cater for all age groups and personal situations, from young singles to elders and those who have lost their partners through bereavement or divorce.

If Christianity is an important aspect of your lifestyle then Christian dating sites might be just what you are looking for.

About the Author

Graeme Ramsey is a freelance writer on many different topics. Christian Dating

Dating Trips

Taking a trip? Why not hookup along the way?

Trips are fantastic places to pick-up and now many dating sites are trying to cash in on the action. Read more: These trips are for singles hoping to become doubles - Los Angeles Times

Access to the Internet as well as a growing population of singles has fueled the boom in such travel. About 43% of adult Californians are unmarried, according to Unmarried America, a singles information service (www.unmarriedamerica.org) that extrapolated this figure from 2004 U.S. Census Bureau figures.